First of the plagues...

First? A joke to set the stage on this post...

What was the last thing to go through a bug's mind before he hit the windshield?

His butt!

If tomorrow's prediction were true, which I'm certain it's not, and the world is not actually coming to an end. But if it were, I'm fairly certain I experienced the plague of locusts this morning while I was driving in my car.

I was getting off one highway onto another on my way to my aunt's house. I was bombarded by a swarm of something, which were probably locusts. I saw them coming and drove right through them and heard a succession of thump-thump-thump-thump-thump on my windshield. When I emerged from the swarm I was left with about 30 dead bug butt splats across my windshield. I did what anyone would do to remove bug splats. I fired off some windshield washer fluid and turned on my wipers, except no windshield washer fluid sprayed out, yet the wipers turned on. Do you know what I was left with? Bug butts smeared all over my windshield. It was disgusting.

The baby was screaming in the back seat and I couldn't get to my destination soon enough. Of course I was in the middle of no where and there wasn't an exit between me and my aunt's house that would have a gas station and/or windshield washer fluid at a corner bodega (note: there are no bodegas where we live). I was left with what looked like a mid-winter frost covered windshield except the defroster wouldn't have worked in this case. I had to forge ahead and drive about 10 miles that way. Stopping to dump the water bottle I had packed to drink for myself would've just pissed the baby off even more. And really? He was pissed off enough, don't ya think...

So, who knows what tomorrow will bring...but I have on my to do list to refill my windshield washer fluid reservoir and prepare for the remaining 9 plagues. Let me know if you see a lot of frogs, ok?

Some extra TLC

"I have to go potty."

"The music isn't loud enough."

"I want different music."

"My butt is tickly."

"I want my lemon on." (her alarm clock night light)

"I want my fan on/off."

"I want to sleep at the other end of my bed."

"I need medicine."

"I want another hug/kiss."

"My closet door is open."

"I want a stuffed animal."

"I want my bottie on me."

You name the excuse, we've heard it from our 4 Year old daughter about why she can't yet go to sleep. We went thru this stage about a year ago when she would push the limits. Now? Well, now is a completely different ball game. She has been intent on making bedtime absolutely miserable for all parties involved. It's always something. I thought it was just her being 4. Her wanting to not sleep. We tried everything to make her go to sleep without making it a huge production. Tough love. Cry it out (yes, at 4 years old). Calm, cool and collected. Raving lunatic yelling. Use things as leverage. Promise rewards. Take away privileges. Nothing worked. It only kept getting worse and worse.

Sure, a 4 year old can feel jealousy toward the new baby that just came home to stay. But my 4 year old? No way! She can't stop talking about him. She can't hug him and kiss him enough. She wants to hold him all the time. She wants to take baths with him and help me wash his feet and hands. She boasts and is full of pride when she tells her friends and her teacher all about him. She wants her picture taken with him. She can't wait until he can talk and play with her. So why would it ever occur to us that she was dealing with jealousy issues? She's not a needy kid and she's 4, she's not that young to have jealousy issues. Or is she.

I don't know with 100% certainty, but I believe that's what we have here. Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had enough. My husband had enough. We've been trying everything and nothing had been working. She had a busy day. She was definitely tired. I put her down at 8:30. For an hour and a half she tried every excuse in the book and then some. I even brought in the big guns and got her aunt on the phone. They have an especially close relationship and in my daughter's mind she doesn't want her aunt knowing she's done something bad so she usually shapes up. They talked for a minute, we hung up and moments later we had one more go around with her fighting bedtime and then she was finally asleep.

In that time last night, I had a moment of clarity. What if it IS about the baby? What if she is jealous? What if she's lonely in her room by herself? It was something her aunt said that got me thinking about it. She's having a tough time too with her older daughter and she can't put her baby in the girl's room because of the antics. So I played my last card. I went into my daughter's room and very calmly explained to her that if she could work through this then her brother could sleep in their room with her. Until then, he would sleep in our room. She would have to be able to conduct herself appropriately so that I knew she wouldn't wake him up with her antics. She wants more than anything to have him in her room with her. I imagine in her mind she feels like the outcast. The three of us in mommy and daddy's room and her, all by herself left alone in her room every single night. She seemed to soften and understand. A breakthrough perhaps? Well, only time would tell. We'll see.

Today I did a lot of soul searching to figure out what to do about this. for starters I need to help her. She can't do this by herself, nor should she. I'm her mother and I need to be compassionate in order towards her in order to help US get over this bump in the road. I decided I would pay a little extra attention to her tonight and see what would happen. I bathed them both. She helped me wash the baby's toes and hands. She got dressed when we asked her to. I was insisting on no iPad tonight because of an episode she had this morning. But it wasn't a total loss, I told her we could read books, she could pick 3. I handed off the baby to daddy and she and I snuggled in my bed like we have every night before bedtime since she was born. She wanted me to rock her and sing "rock a bye baby" and pretend when the cradle fell I was going to drop her off the side of the bed but not actually let her fall. She and I hugged. I told her over and over how proud I was of how well she did at her ballet dress rehearsal today. We talked about the performances this coming weekend. We bonded. More than we have in the last 11 weeks I would say. And then I took her fussy brother back from daddy and the three of us snuggled together. It was heaven. I could tell, even without her saying anything, she was happy and satisfied. She also knew that if she didn't behave we would not be stopping at Dunkin Donuts in the morning.

It was time for bed and she went willingly. I let her choose to put her head at the foot of her bed instead of the top (meh, pick my battles...sleeping is sleeping no matter where your head is). I tucked her in, we prayed together. She prayed for grandma and her pool among other people and things. I left her room and 2 minutes later I heard her calling. My heart sunk. It was all for nothing, was all I could think. She was playing us again. It was going to be one of those nights. BUT, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and went in calm and cool as a cucumber. She simply wanted bottie (her blanket) and couldn't find it. Totally my fault. Figuring out the whole foot of the bed sleeping arrangement, I completely forgot bottie. After I put bottie on her, I didn't hear another peep. She went to sleep without further incident. A huge sigh of relief came over me. SHE'S NOT BROKEN!!! She's HUMAN! She just needed a little extra TLC. And you know what? That's totally ok with me. I think all of us could use some extra TLC, myself included. At the end of the day, the snuggling bonding time is precious time to me. And I'm perfectly ok with going upstairs a few minutes earlier to start the routine so we have that time together. It's important. For both of us. I love my girl and I am hoping this is the turning point we BOTH needed. Sweet dreams my little girl.

Hmmmm...what should I get at Dunkin Donuts tomorrow morning?