Strategic Logistics Manager

This is going to be a new job title I'm going to create in Fire Departments. I am going to become one of these people. (Thanks to my dad.)

After Hurricane Irene blew through and wreaked havoc in the surrounding areas including my crawl space under our house, firstly I'm thankful that's all the damage we had. A quick call to the insurance company and our oil company and we have a new motor in our only 4 year old oil burner and we're good.

My commute to work has been interesting. One particular area in Bedford, you know that town that all the famous people live? It's been a disaster area. The main road into/out of town has had one lane blocked by a downed tree and wires yesterday morning, last night and this morning. Yesterday morning I felt good about stopping to let the people coming the opposite direction who couldn't drive on their side of the road. I felt like it was my little kind gesture, though I think I pissed off the guy eager to get to work who was behind me.

As of tonight I turned onto this road knowing that debris was only a half mile down and traffic was stopped. I knew instantly they were working on clearing it away. There was a Bedford Volunteer Fire Department fire truck blocking the road and diverting traffic down the perpendicular road. This road they diverted traffic down? It was long. And basically? It leads to nowhere. There are just a whole bunch of dead ends and no outlets along it. Here's the thing though, why couldn't the fire truck be further down the road at the road I turned from? There were no other roads between that road and the debris, it was pointless for all these cars to drive all the way to the debris in the first place. Had I known the work was going on I would've made a right and found my way home that way instead.

I propose that these volunteer fire departments find someone in their town, who is not a teen age boy wanting to give his red pickup truck a car wash every day. Someone who knows the town. Someone who realizes that closing down a road in one spot is more effective than closing it down in say the middle of nowhere where a person would have to back track MILES to get back to going where they need to go. It took me an extra 45 minutes to get home tonight because they didn't have enough foresight to close off the road at a main intersection.

I know, I'm totally complaining while people have real problems but when there's a baby home who wants to eat (because have you seen how skinny he is these days?) and you just, for the love of God had the worst day and you really just need to spend time with people that love you, I deserve to be upset when people block the road somewhere they shouldn't. Though I have to say, driving roads I don't normally drive made me see damage I wouldn't have seen otherwise. It's crazy.

Anyway, I'm applying for the job of Strategic Logistics Manager of any fire department who would like happy citizens.

Me and my girl, two peas in a pod!

When I was a kid my mom always had a hard time getting me out of our town pool. I loved that place. I loved the pool. I loved playing in the water. I loved playing sharks and minnows in the deep end. I have always been a water baby. It takes a lot for me to not want or need to go in the water if an opportunity presents itself. For instance, I refuse to get in a bathing suit and go in a pool if I'm with coworkers, but that's about as far as my limits go.

I always loved playing with my friends in the pool. I can remember playing with my friend in the pool for hours on end. We would come up with new games every time. One day we spent hours intertwining our legs together, going under water and pretending we were on a see saw bobbing up and down each catching a little more breathe each time it was our up portion of the see saw motion, flapping our arms to either push ourselves up or back down to the bottom of the pool while the other caught her breathe. It sounds stupid and silly but it was so much fun.

This summer my 4 year old daughter has made amazing strides in the pool. It began during our vacation in April when she began jumping in the water without us having to catch her. And then she figured out how to float on her back. She was so excited for her accomplishments (and we were excited for her) that she couldn't wait to show grandma. We always go to grandma's pool during the summer so when she thinks pool, she thinks grandma. We texted grandma from vacation with video of her jumping in the pool. She was excited, did I mention that?

When grandma's pool opened this season, it's been one thing after the next, stride after stride. I'm so proud of her. She goes under water completely. She does somersaults. She swims from one side of the pool to the other. She's worn flippers and a snorkel (needs a little more practice with the snorkel). She does cannon balls. And most recently she's ventured into the deep end and is jumping and DIVING in. Yes, diving.

She and I have had the best time these last few weeks playing in the water together. We do somersaults. We go under water and wave to each other. We jump in the water over and over again at the same time. She swims to me and then swims back. We've had the best time playing in the pool. Every time I stop to think about playing in the pool with her, I feel awesome. I feel like my whole life has led up to this, like my life was waiting for my daughter and I to play in the pool. Sure I had friends to play in the pool with, but my daughter is my daughter. My daughter doesn't like getting out of the pool. She doesn't mind her lips turning purple. She just loves playing in the pool and so do I. It's like we were made for each other, two peas in a pod. I have so much fun playing with her and I'm so lucky she loves the water as much as I do. Last weekend, my mom had to drag me and my daughter out of the pool by our ears. In typical fashion, my mom told me it was time to go, I stomped my feet and asked for 5 more minutes. :)

Snipping snippets

I am very lucky to have my friend who is a hair dresser, come over to my house to do my hair. Or am I? Lucky, that is. I don't know, last night would make one wonder.

Sue came over last night, my house a complete wreck and in upheaval because of our washer/dryer crapping out this past weekend. When I got home my husband was making preparations for the delivery of the new washer/dryer. The kids were buzzing. While I stayed home to feed the baby and get ready for Sue to come over, my husband ran out with the 4 YO to grab a pizza.

Sue arrived and got down to the business of my roots and split ends. Soon after my husband and daughter arrived back home. When my daughter saw Sue doing my hair, she got so excited and asked her to cut her hair too. Except when we asked her how short she wanted it cut, she grabbed the back of her head, hand close to the base of the clump of hair she had clenched, as if she was grabbing a cat by the scruff of it's neck. Her point? She wants it super short.

I got my hi-lites. The baby nursed to sleep and I was holding him. While my hi-lites set, Sue trimmed my daughter's hair which has so much chlorine damage from this summer, it's sad. Her beautiful blonde locks, turning blonder and blonder and dryer. On one hand, I'd love to do a short cut for her hair, but it makes me sad to think about cutting it off. My husband was shuffling around and at one point muttered, "don't cut her hair short". Glad he spoke up. Also even more torn. When sue was done trimming about 2 - 3 inches off and my daughter saw herself in the mirror, she got very upset and insisted Sue cut her hair short.

Sue by then was back to working on me. I had rinsed out and washed my hair. The baby had since woken up and sat in his bouncy seat for just as long as he could stand it and I was holding him. My husband was still futzing with the washer/dryer. He was getting it out of the house, so we didn't have to deal with the delivery guys doing it and perhaps putting holes in walls, etc. While I definitely appreciated his efforts, I could've thought of a better time for him to do this task. I don't usually do many things for myself. It had been 3 months since my last hair appointment. I just wanted this one hour of time without wrestling kids.

It was a terrible scenario for me. I had my husband doing his own thing, someone with a pair of scissors over my head trying to make something of my mop top, a 4 year old daughter who was having a tantrum on the kitchen floor in a pile of fresh cut hair because she wanted more hair cut and a baby going through the witching hour in my arms and nowhere to go. Nothing I did made him happy. Oh and I was wearing the hair cutting smock which was making me sweat like a pig as I wrestled the baby and the 4 year old as she threw herself at me every so often. It was the perfect storm and I was the beaten and battered ship.

I love Sue and she did a great job on my hair I'm sure, but it's not what I wanted because it was all we both could do to get through it. I wanted something different and instead she just trimmed in up. I guess I know for next time, make sure there is no one home. Send them all out to the circus, because that's exactly what last night was.

This morning my girl woke up, walked in my room and declared, "mommy, I like my hair cut now." I told her I was glad. She went to the bathroom, came out a few minutes later and declared, "I. Don't. Like. My. Hair." I threw my hands up. I give up. I had no idea what to do with her. What is it that she wants? I asked her a barrage of questions. What do you want it to look like? Why don't you and I look for pictures in magazines for what you are thinking you want to do? How short do you want it? I finally asked the right question. "Is there someone you've seen or know who has the hair cut you have in mind?" she replied, "Yes!" FINALLY, we might be getting somewhere. I asked who. She said her Auntie Lyndsay.

It was good to finally know where her head was, but now what do I do? Now that I know what she wants, and I love Lyndsay's hair, but I can't part with my baby's beautiful blonde locks just yet I don't think. How do I know when the time is right? I remember my mom making me cut my hair when I was little and I hated it. I know it's different because she actually wants it cut, but does she really know that it doesn't just magically grow back? Does she realize it's taken about 6 months for it too grow out from the last time it was trimmed up 2 - 3 inches?

All you ladies out there, when did you get your first big haircut? Did you want it cut? Or did your mom make you do it? Do you remember regretting having it cut? Or did you like it? If you have a daughter, how did you decide to do a real cut and not just a trim? I'm so torn. She won't let it go. She wants her hair cut.

P.S. I think if my husband wasn't around last night and said don't cut it, I probably would've had Sue cut it how my daughter wanted it just to shut her up. I also wanted my husband to know I was listening to him and his opinion because in 2, 3, 4 years from now...if he thinks he's going to be allowed to shave off my son's hair like he's in the military, he's got another thing coming. I do not like the shaved head look at all and I refuse to let my husband do that to my son.

The things I miss...

(Removed picture)

Sometimes I think I'm better off not asking my husband what he's doing with the kids in the afternoon when he picks them up. And to the same note, I need to stop asking for pictures of the kids. I find, as if I didn't miss them enough already, my heart aches for them even more. I love my kids and I just want to be at the park playing with them.

Blowing "blueberries"

Kids say the darndest things for sure. Sometimes I wish I had the presence of mind to pull out my iPhone and record what my 4YO says on a daily basis.

Yesterday we were getting ready to go out and I had the baby undressed on the bed. I blew a raspberry on his tummy. My 4YO loves when I blow raspberries on her tummy. She wanted to join in the fun with her brother. She asked, "Mommy, can I blow blueberries on brother's tummy too?"

I nearly fell off the bed from laughter. She cracks me up. What will she say next? I really should just keep my iPhone recorder rolling.

Boys...and so it begins

This past Saturday I took my daughter to a birthday party at a gymnastics place. She LOVED it. She was even more thrilled when her "boyfriend" arrived a few minutes late. This is the "boyfriend" she says she's going to "marry". *sigh*

 

They had the gymanstics portion of the party and then they all had pizza and cake. My daughter sat across the table from her boyfriend. There was a little girl sitting next to her boyfriend who was maybe a year and a half old. When my daughter noticed she said, "ETHAN, WHY are you talking to HER?!?!?!"

 

Poor Ethan.

 

I'm in trouble.

The one where the punishment is no tv...her choice

My daughter struggled with her baby brother coming home and actually becoming part of the family. She never said she wanted him to go, I think she just wasn't sure what to do now that the attention wasn't 24/7 focused on her anymore. So she started throwing tantrums, acting out, having so called "accidents" in her underwear that weren't accidents at all, but more intentional for attention and generally being an unruly 4 year old. I never expected her to react this way. She's 4. I thought she would be old enough to accept him. She LOVES him, don't get me wrong, she just didn't know what to do with herself after she realized she wasn't the only one occupying the center of mommy and daddy's world any longer. Now she had to share mommy and daddy.

We worked thru a lot of things in the past few months. Bedtime routine was buttoned up and she stopped throwing out every excuse in the book in order to delay bedtime and get under our skin in the process. She stopped having "accidents" on purpose. Tantrums were fewer and far between. We've been a happier home. I attributed the turnaround in her behavior to her brother being moved in to sleep in their room. She was lonely in there by herself in the first couple months after he came home. She saw that brother was sleeping in mommy and daddy's room and she was all by herself in their room. Where's the fun in that?

Last week I went to empty the little trash can in the bathroom and take the garbage out. The trash bin was heavy. There were diapers in it, but they wouldn't have been that heavy. The bottom after emptying out the container still had a couple stray items stuck to the bottom of it. They had a light yellowish hue. Instantly I knew what it was. So I confronted my daughter. I asked her if she peed in the trash bin in the bathroom. She replied "no". I asked her again. And again. And over again. It wasn't until I told her "You are not going to be in trouble, but you need to tell me the truth, did you pee in the trash bin?" She finally relented and told the truth, "yes". I told her thank you for telling the truth, told her it was unacceptable to do such a thing and walked away. Done. Afterall, I promised she wouldn't be in trouble. Meanwhile, I'm reeling wondering why in the hell she peed on this trash bin. What in her mind makes her want to do something like this? I let it drop. What else could I do?

This morning I was getting everyone out of the house including my niece who I was transferring back to my sister. On one of my trips over to the front door I opened the door and put my key in the lock, just one less thing I would have to do when it was time to go. When I started making noise that it was time to go, my daughter bee lined for the front door and waited for us by sitting on the bottom front step. When it was finally walk out the door time, I was doing the juggling act of carrying 5 bags and a baby and getting my niece out the door too. She went down the stairs and when she got to the bottom and walked away I noticed a round wet spot on the brick walkway. It hadn't rained since last night and the rest of the walkway was dry. Not really thinking THAT much of it, I nonchalantly asked my daughter what it was, knowing she had been sitting right there and would know. She quickly replied with a sheepish look on her face "I peed". I just near lost it. I continued to the car, put the baby in his seat, asked my niece to stay in the car with him and took my daughter back in the house to get changed.

Now, not only had she peed somewhere OTHER THAN A TOILET, she messed with the flow of our morning. We would've been on time. She specifically pulled out this outfit she wanted to wear with Hello Kitty on it. She now couldn't wear that. When we finally got back in the car the baby was screaming. I made sure she understood why he was upset. Maybe that's what she wanted. Maybe she's looking for ways to take the attention off of her brother. I don't know. I just don't know what to do anymore. She had a choice, she was going to be punished. No more Mr. nice guy. There were going to be consequences.

Her first option: When we get to school I ask her teacher if children who don't use the potty are allowed in her Pre-K room this year? I wouldn't let on what actually happened, it would just be a general question.

Her second option: She goes without tv for the entire day today.

She chose no tv.

Now, when I texted my husband to tell him about all this because HE would have to be the one to enforce the "no tv" rule, he replied "don't you think no tv is a little harsh?" If I could've reached through my iPhone and pinch him, I would've. No…no, I don't think it's harsh. He has no idea what I go through to get 2 kids out of the house in addition to myself in the morning. No idea what a juggling act it is to keep the baby happy long enough to get our act together and the 4 year old away from her brother so I know he's safe and she's not feeding him a penny or something. On any given day I have to get us dressed, get our bags together, get my bottles together for pumping, make sure she has a bathing suit and towel because God forbid she can't run through the sprinkler at camp, get the baby's bottles in his bag, let the dog out, brush our teeth, let the dog in, get my lunch together, and the list goes on and on and on. He doesn't get it. It's not only about the fact she peed where she absolutely should NOT have, she made our morning even more difficult than it already is.

I really have high hopes for "5" because "3" and "4" have been greatly challenging. Six more month to "5" but I'm clinging for dear life to the hope it gets better and these antics stop. It is a really good thing she's so darn cute and I love her so much. I'm in denial she will ever be a teenager because THAT is whole world.

Monitoring

The other night I thought I had turned on the baby/video monitor only to realize upon waking up at 6 a.m. that the battery was dead when I tried turning it on. I was elated and guilty all in the same breathe. I had basically gotten a full night sleep AND cut myself off from the baby had he woken up in the middle of the night. With the white noise of the air conditioner in my bedroom, there's no way I would hear him crying without a monitor of some kind. I think my daughter would wake up and come in and tell me if her baby brother was crying and keeping her up...but she was super tired too, so would she? Or did she sleep thru it too?

He just woke up at 2 a.m. And I put him back down after nursing. It's 3:36 and I can't go back to sleep because the monitor is alive and charged and I hear him sniffling from a little cold he has. I am convinced the moment I try to go back to sleep he's going to wake up again. Even though his track record proves he sleeps after his middle of the night feeding until morning.

My thing is this...I really wish there was a baby monitoring company. Just like you have ADT to monitor your home, I want someone to monitor my baby and wake me only if he's truly up and needs something, otherwise all the snorts, sighs and position changes can just be left alone and I don't need to keep rolling over and turning on the video portion of the monitor to see what he's up to. I would get a way better night sleep if I could leave the monitoring to someone else.