Five

2 was fun.

3 was terrible.

4 was horrendous.

5 is...well, mommy cries at 5. How can my little baby girl who I gave birth to be FIVE already. And with her turning five, I discovered, up until now? This parenting thing has been a breeze. We go through the motions. We do our thing. Then one day she turns five and she comes home from Pre-K with a packet of "here's what you need to know about kindergarten" papers and your heart stops because this? THIS parenting thing just became very real and in my face.

Who will register her in kindergarten the first week of March? Me and Mr. Volcano. Who will make sure she gets the best education we can give her? Me and Mr. Volcano. Who will help her with her homework? Me and Mr. Volcano. Who will plan family vacations according to the school calendar? Me and Mr. Volcano. Who will juggle the half day kindergarten tango? Me and Mr. Volcano.

I look at my daughter and I am amazed by who she is. Yes she still throws a tantrum here and there'd. Yes she gets timeouts for acting or speaking to us inappropriately. Yes she's still, and will always be my little girl, but she's gotten so big. She insisted in December when I was getting my hair done that she also get a real haircut. That haircut was a turning point. She became a big girl. She grew up with just a couple snips of the scissors. She doesn't have that baby fine wispy ended long hair anymore. It's styled and looks adorable.

She's compassionate. She's loving. She's ridiculously smart. She's confident. She's courageous. She's kind. She's funny. She's the most awesome big sister. She's talented in everything she does, soccer, dancing, singing, and she even whooped her dad's butt in Wii Bowling last night. She memorizes things even hearing or seeing something just once. she is way better at everything than I was when I was a kid. Far cuter too.

Next weekend we're having her birthday party. It's her first "kids" party. The past four years we've had our closest family and friends to a restaurant for a pizza party to celebrate. This year she's her own person. This year she wanted a "friends" party. It will be a gymnastics party and she insisted on it. I thought i would plan her party at a bouncy place. I had everything set and the deposit paid, told her about it and she would've been fine with it, but she expressed that she really wanted a gymnastics party. How could I say no? She's become her own person. She has independent thoughts and feelings. She's simply put...amazing and I love her to pieces.

We talk about how OMG, our baby is five, we're so not ready, but deep down I am. It's been a long...short five years. She needs to spread her wings. I may not be ready. Mr. Volcano may not be ready. But I will tell you this SHE is definitely ready. She can't wait for kindergarten. I am so proud of her. So proud she's our daughter. So proud of who she is and who she's becoming. While she may give me and Mr. Volcano a hard time, she's wonderful with other people and that is what matters to me right now. She is going to fly, I can feel it and I couldn't be happier for her. Thank you CJ, for being mommys big girl. Always remember the song (Rascal Flatts, "My Wish") I will always dedicate to you every time I hear it. I love you sweet girl.

Now go be FIVE. Mommy will always be here and can't wait to watch you fly.

P.S. It's a good thing her baby brother came along so we can continue the family/friends parties for his birthdays the next couple years.