Well, it was only a matter of time. My daughter is 4 years old. She loves coloring. Usually on paper. Sometimes on the iPad with a coloring app. We've been fortunate. Aside from a small marking she made with a crayon or pencil by accident on a wall here or there, it's been all coloring where coloring is supposed to go all the time. That is until this past weekend.
We visited my mom on Memorial Day for a little while. We were hoping the pool would be open but no such luck. We hung out anyway and I tried to make the best of the situation by bringing a small pool for my daughter to play in. She played in it and got bored. She desperately wants to show my mom how she jumps in the pool by herself and floats. While my mom and I visited while I nursed the baby, and my husband took on the leaky drain issue, my daughter watched tv in the den.
It wasn't until we were leaving that we realized why and how she was so quiet all that time. Should've suspected the quiet sooner. My husband went in to collect her and get her moving toward the door and noticed the smell of nail polish in the air. It only got stronger upon entering the den. It didn't take long before noticing a slightly different shade of light pink on the off white color on the wall next to my mom's new La-Z-Boy chair. A brush stroke this way and that way, up, down and diagonal. About 2 square feet worth of color strokes on the wall. Good thing for a much more forgiving grandma than parents. My mom took it in stride. My husband and I were less than amused. I? Was mortified and so upset for my mom. For the awful display of behavior my her granddaughter displayed.
While on the way home, I read her the riot act.
Me: Where do we use nail polish?
4YO: On our nails.
Me: And where did you put the nail polish?
4YO: (sheepishly) On the wall and the shelf.
Me: SHELF?!?!?! WHAT?
Me: (Dials my mom's number instantly)
Me: Mom, I was going over what happened with your granddaughter, she said something about the shelf next to your chair!
Mom: (Makes her way to the den) (Very calmly says) Yeah, it's on the cabinet, it's coming off mostly with my finger nail.
Me: (mortified) I'm so sorry mom.
It was not a good night. She's acting out and I don't know how to curb it. I can't make her stop doing bad things. My mom tells me to stop telling her she's bad or she'll grow up thinking she's bad and will only form a bad self image and think she IS bad. How do I raise her to do good things. To stop acting out. We are showing her love every day. We have since the day she was born. We snuggle with her every night before bed just as we have every night since birth. It's maddening, and now...NOW her actions have gone outside our family walls. Now she's doing things that affect others. I just don't know what to do with her anymore.
Hang in there. We've been down this road before with her. She's wicked smart and knows how to get you going. She knows that she's loved and that's WHY she's doing this. She knows that you're still going to love her even when she does these things. She's always been a kid that thrives on consistency. Tell her what she did was wrong, put her in a Time Out, and when she serves her four minutes, make her tell YOU why she was in Time Out. Get down on her level, don't yell, but speak sternly into her face. When the punishment is served, it's over. Don't bring it up again. I thought it was crap, but it's working with Liza. Sometimes she gets two in a row, sometimes she won't sit the whole time and has to start over, but we're getting through. It's tough as a parent because sometimes the time they're serving isn't enough for you to get over your OWN anger, but it's just another one of those things we sacrifice. No one said this shit was easy.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
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