Associations

When you think of your grandparents what are the associations you make with them? I only knew one of my grandparents growing up, my father's mother. She lived in Daytona Beach, and we only saw her for a limited time during the summer. I have associations I make with her like tennis. I don't particularly care for tennis, but every summer when the U.S. Open was in NY that was always the time my grandmother was staying with us and she would watch religiously. I always think of her when I see or hear about tennis.

Another association I make with my grandmother is eyeglasses. The wasn't a day that she stayed with us that my grandmother didn't set her glasses down somewhere and forget where that spot was. Since I was the resident finder of all things she would instantly ask me to help her find them.

Solitaire...those lazy hot days of summer would leave me and my grandmother to entertain ourselves inside. I would ask her to play double solitaire every day. I think she got tired of it after a while.

I see associations building between my 4YO and her 3 grandparents, my mom and my husband's mom and dad. It's fun to watch them develop. My daughter has a special bond with all three of her grandparents and it warms my heart. I wish I had known more than just one of my grandparents. I wish I had at least the opportunity to know one of my mom's parents.

Grandpa - my husband's dad...

When there is any kind of special occasion or reason to have people over or go to someone's house, it is my girl's expectation that if grandpa is there, he will have been to the bakery that morning and bought a fresh batch of black & white cookies with him to the gathering. He also buys Lindzer Tarts as well, but my girl isn't interested in those just yet. If her grandpa shows up to a family function without black & white cookies, she gives him hell for it.

Grandma - my husband's mom...

In maybe the last couple months my girl has noticed her grandma take candy out of her pocket before she leaves our house. One day my girl became curious enough about them to ask grandma what the little candies were. They happened to be Mentos. Grandma gave my girl one of the Mentos and she was instantly hooked. Now every time she sees grandma, the first thing she asks her is "grandma can I have one of those circle things in your pocket?" She also has daddy wrapped around her finger apparently because he has surprised her and bought her a pack of Mentos as a special treat.

Grandma - my mom...

My mom only lives 20 minutes away so we see her more frequently. My mom has watched my girl from time to time. They have their own rituals while they are together. My girl loves dressing and redressing my mom's Build-a-Bear and for occasions my girl's gift to grandma is a new outfit for her bear that sits outside her front door. My mom also has a side table with about 18 little drawers in it. My girl is accustomed to going to grandma's and hitting up those drawers for little trinkets and treasures and maybe a little snack. They bake cookies together, they paint their nails with nail polish, they make my mom's cuckoo clock go "cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo" even if it's not time for the little birdie to come out yet.

I wish my dad was around to meet my girl. He would find such joy in her, I just know it. I can't imagine what the associations would be if they were to meet, but I think it's my job to make sure she knows about who he was and what little things remind me of him, like seeing a sailboat out on the Sound. Or seeing an old man who looks like the Gorton's fisherman with an old sailor cap and a white beard. And how it didn't matter if someone poured me the best glass of water, my dad's water always tasted better.

These are all just small things, things that may not mean anything to anyone else but my girl and her grandparents. But they are pieces of my little girl's life that will shape who she is. Little memories, snippets of her grandparents that will mean so much to her when she's old enough to appreciate them. I will just have to make sure she finds some connection, some association she can make sigh her grandpa, my dad.